IT'S A MYSTERY

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Sometimes it seems that life is like one gaint game of tetris.

You know, the video game where shapes fall down quickly from the top the playing field and the goal is to stack each shape together like a puzzle.

No extra space allowed, each piece fitting perfectly together. 

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If you've ever played, you can agree that it can become challenging as the pace picks up.

You quickly feel the pressure to make moves faster and faster, and again and again. You might even break a sweat.

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While scenerious and situations are unraveling and transpiring from the sequence of our lives, we can often be unsure where and how they will land, much like tetrus. And in a moment of pressure, or stress, we quickly rush to life demands, like a game, to figure it out.

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There is sense of uncertainty and vulnerability when we don’t have control or have the advantage of knowning how everything will work together.  So we try to figure it out. And could it be that our eager rational is nothing more than a defensive mechanism to limit hurt, pain or being let down.

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I love this scripture.

 “Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother's womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.” - Ecc 11:5

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I’m coming to the realization, that mystery carries along no matter the age and no matter the maturity one might feel.

It doesn’t go away.

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The moment you have it figured out is the same moment something else comes along that is again, out of your control and outside of your realm of understanding.

Mystery is alongside every breath in and every breath out. It cannot be controlled. It cannot be figured out. We do not graduate from mystery. It’s a apart of our lives. It cannot always be explained. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes, it’s exciting. Most of the time, it’s rejected.

Yet, it is the very thing that can lead us to our knees before God.

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For the next couple of weeks I’ve prepared to continue on this topic from a few different angles.

I invite you to join along, and I pray you are encouraged!

 

next... 

Part II Living with the unresolved

Part III When it’s not what you expected

Part IV It’s ok to when you don’t know

 

see you again! 

 

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It takes time to cultivate anything.

Like a seed planted in soil, with proper care, over time it will eventually amount to something. We must water, care and nurture the seed and if done well, it will sprout into it's full potential.

Our craft, or gifting in life, is much like that seed. We must keep watering our seed. If we don't, it will not grow.

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I'm not sure what you on the other end might be attempting to grow at, if anything at all. But I'll take a guess that you have a desire to be great at what you do.

To be the best you can be, and to reach your full potential is a desire within us all.

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Whatever you do, and whatever you're passionate about, my question to you... are you watering your seed? Are you growing your gifting?

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This website is that for me.

It's not only my hobby but it's also my discipline. It certainly isn't always the most convenient or easy but I love doing it. It has has become the best release of my creativity, yet at the same time it can drain me of energy. It can take me hours to create content and gather my thoughts, sometimes even days or weeks to find the depth, quality and intent I'm looking for.

Excellence will always cost something, while stagnation is free, a human default. We must choose the option to grow in excellence and ability. At the end of the day I not only feel compelled to do this but also, it's my obligation and honor to give God my very best.

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So, this is my discipline.

I'm practicing my creativity. It takes work. It takes time. It takes commitment.

And I can't give up. As a creator I have a difficult time with this. I find myself not always completing pieces. I've written so much, yet it just never feels good enough to hit the publish button. I can mull over each small detail, each word, and after time I cannot see the forest for trees. I end up deleting things over and over and rewriting over and over, only to discover I liked my original piece best. I give up on pieces far to often because I can't seem to finish it.

I'm learning sometimes I just have to click the finished button before I'm totally ready.

I said this in a post before, but I'll say it again... Wes is always reminding me that "home runs" don't happen every swing. That's huge for me! I'm reminder that I must finish. I have to land the plan at some point and that in this process it's all about my ability to produce something, a finished product.

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I just have to keep batting. One ball after another, until eventually I feel comfortable. And then, once there, I must keep batting. One ball after another, and then I start hitting home runs. But only a few. Then I go at it again. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

8 years...

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We're on the other side of our world to find seclusion and a change of scenery. To nurture a sense of adventure and romance. To rekindle dreams as a married couple and sketch out our game plan for this year.

The one thing I'm praying this year is that Wes and I would grow, evolve, and change together. That we wouldn't get ahead of one another, but steadily, condistenliy, and in unity move together. In terms of our pace, heart, perspectives, attitudes, goals and dreams.

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It would be naive of me to not realize that we are changing beings and for us, well, we have changed since the time we got married.

Our thinking has evolved, our wisdom has deepened, our perspective has widened. We've learned from our mistakes, and from our wins.

Our passions have evolved, and so have our dreams. We've calmed down in some areas, while in other areas we've become more of aggressive in and attentive to. 

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We've learned our time on earth will present every opportunity for us to question our life and the meaning there of, to force us to constantly choose how we respond to life happenings, to test our perspectives and attitudes, and to examine our truths beyond the trends and fads.

You might realize, like us, through these opportunities and experiences... you change.

It's true, living life changes you.

Better yet, life with Jesus changes you for the best. Through the processes of life you discover a lot. It is a journey and as married person, the goal is to live it together... The adventure, the journey, the ups and the downs, and through the mundanes.

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And yet, the goal also isn't to stay the same. The goal is to grow and to grow better together, because change, when changed for the better, is good.

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The reality is, far too often couples do change, but not for the better.

Instead of changing and growing together, they grow apart. Somewhere in middle of living, life draws them apart...

I'm realizing it's a conscious effort, a daily decision, an intentional one to choose to take step by step and stride by stride together.

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It's interesting how our priorities have changed over the years...

Eight years ago, at the beginning, we focused more on WHERE and WHAT we wanted to do in life. (Which isn't bad)

Eight years later, our focus has become more and more about WHO we want to become. And not just now, but the people we wish to be years down the road.  

The truth is, want to grow into who we wish to become.

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Being more...

secure

having a quiet confidence in the Lord

happy

content

whole

Rushing less

enjoying more

being present

bitter free

laughing more

ok with obscurity

ok with not getting our way

humble

scencere and genuine

friendly

compassionate

simple and uncomplicated  

pure

To name a few... 

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We think about these things more than where we are going these days, knowing that in confidence of the Lord, he will always lead us to the right places.

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That alone brings such an ease, comfort and rest in our marriage... knowing that as we focus on becoming exactly who God intended us to be, that he will guide towards all he has called us to do, and in the perfect order and timing.

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A scripture we've been thinking on for our marriage, is found in Proverbs 17:1. It says, "Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting--and conflict."

It's true that you can gain the world but loose your soul, and even at the cost of your most important relationships.

The picture Proverbs portrays isn't glamorous, or sexy, or exciting. Instead it is simple, it's meager, it's unassuming. I mean, really, who wants a dry crust to eat?? I certainly don't go in my pantry looking for a dry crust, I'm looking for the steak in the fridge!

I guess my point being, Wes and I are not in it for the "feasting," the glamor, the party, the indulgence, because it's all so fickle. I'm not against the feasting, it's just when the other stuff takes you away from the important things in your life... like God, like your marriage, like your family.

We want what lasts. A marriage that last, and one that is fulfilling. We'd be more than happy with a dry crust to eat, if it meant keeping our marriage.

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I heard a message by Jocye Meyers that I love. She said a prayer she prays often goes like this, "God, please don't give me anything that's going to make me think I'm more important than I am. Don't give me anything that will ever take me away from you. And if I try to get something that isn't your will, slam the door in my face."

I think it's prayers like this I have adopted not only for my personal life, but also for my marriage.

"Lord, don't give us anything that will, number one, take us away from you, but also, number two, that will take us away from each other. We want the way of life that keeps us grounded, humble, and steady in you... we want to choose the path that will last."

I've seen enough couples choose, without knowing it, other things over their marriage... their careers, their dreams, their busy schedule, their agendas... and in the little decisions over time, they have just chosen the "feasting" over their relationship.

We're ok with simple, we're ok with little, we're ok the unassuming, if it means we are close with God and close with each other.

 

Xo

 

more pictures below:

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